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5/17/2016 0 Comments THE MASKS I WEAR
The last time I had a drink was on December 31, 2014. It was New Years Eve and I didn't want to be alone to celebrate by myself and so I spent the night drinking cheap red wine paired with marijuana in the company of a boy I convinced myself I liked. A boy I tried to give my heart to but who only wanted to sleep with me and not commit to a relationship because he was too focused on his music and still in love with his ex-girlfriend. I wish I drank whiskey and beer
5/2/2016 0 Comments PART 3: FOUR YEARS LATERWed., November 13, 2013
The other night, I had the most unsettling dream. Blake was there. It turns out, he never died, he just disappeared. The darkness felt so real, and when he came back, I was hypnotized with happiness in being around my big brother again. But soon silence filled our moments and I realized we didn't have much to say to each other. It felt all too real. A flashback to our time on this earth together and the extraordinary absence we had in each others' lives. Soon I found myself frustrated with his behavior and the words that left his mouth. The same feelings I had when he was alive. I felt so torn between my happiness with his return into my life, and the resentment I felt |